Reached a new milestone

My talent services have been requested without an audition. Yes, I was offered a role. It's a small commercial for a local museum, but I didn't have to audition. My agent was contacted specifically for me. That's awesome. I film next week and then have an audition following that. I usually do well in auditions following a high like this. Good things to come I believe.

On another note, I was cast as the lead in an independent feature and I'm freaking out about the scene that will probably require me to wear swimsuit. Shit. So far, I've been able to get away with hiding all my dietary sins. I mean I'm real world ok, but film ok? Not so much.

Working out isn't even the problem, it's food. Oh, how I love food. I wish I could love healthy food as much as I love junk. Really. Or I just wish I could get away from CRAVING dessert after a satisfying meal. Damn you, sweet tooth. Damn you!

So, I'm trying my best at a "diet." Now I'm not going super crazy and going on some fad diet that I won't be able to maintain. I'm actually trying to be sensible.... less of this, more of that. And it seems to be going well except for the sugar. Oh sugar. And chocolate. Damn you... but I love you. So much.

I've actually managed to lose 5 lbs., so I'm halfway to my goal of dropping 10 lbs., I have feeling however that it's more attributed to my workout ramp ups than diet. The workouts I may not be able to maintain, not if my shin splints have any say. Neighborhood pool, when will you open, damn you?! As I type I'm dreading having to go from sitting to standing position. That "Hunger Games workout" in this month's Shape magazine is no little gym bunny workout. My legs are so pissed at me right now. I'm alternating between walking like a baby taking it's first steps and what my very elderly grandmother might look like trying to walk if she wasn't confined to wheelchair. P-I-S-S-E-D, I say. Seriously.

So, hopefully, by the time filming rolls around, my insecurities won't throw me into a pit of self-loathing and despair and maybe I'll actually have fun during the scene. Or maybe I'll just buy a one-piece with those tummy-tightening panels built in. And have cake.

I want to be a more responsible, caring human

I recently came across an article posted on FaceBook about adorable beagles rescued from lab testing. The video just melted my heart.

In reading the article I clicked on a couple of related links that led me to PETA's website. Specifically the page that lists what organizations do and don't use animal testing. I went through the lists and realized that I have irresponsibly been contributing to animal testing by buying products from companies that test on animals. Crap. Now I have a whole new level of self-loathing.

So now I have to give up buying Neutrogena (DAMMIT! Damn YOU, Neutrogena! I really love your products, but I like thinking I'm not killing puppies more), Pantene (Proctor&Gamble), Olay (also Proctor&Gamble), Aussie (Proctor&Gamble. EFF YOU, P&G!) and perhaps some other products that I have yet to go through and eliminate. Ugh. I feel like a puppy killer. However, I also discovered that I have also been sponsoring non-animal testing products. Thank you C. Booth (Delicious Brands), Burt's Bees, Queen Helene, Tresemme, Marc Anthony, Noxzema and Dr. Bronner's Magic.

So now I'll be spending a little more money on products, but not everything will be weird-off-brand-Vegan-don't-work products. Almay, Bath & Body Works, No-Ad, Ahava, Victoria's Secret, Physicians Formula, Paula's Choice, Paul Mitchell Systems, Revlon, Clinique (Estee Lauder) - you have a return customer who is sorry she ever left you just because she wanted to save a few bucks. Turns out my inexpensive beauty regimen has a really high cost after all.

I am comforted to know that there are far more companies that DON'T test on animals than those that do. We should be evolved enough to treat animals with the respect they don't know they deserve. It says a lot about our species when we use other animals to test non-life-saving/non-medically-necessary products on them.

My little Christmas gift to myself this year is no more inadvertent sponsoring of animal testing and in addition writing some e-mails to those animal testing companies to let them know I won't be buying their products anymore.

How much can I juggle when I put my mind to it?

It's been a busy few months. Really busy. Really good busy. Crazy busy. After all my uncertainty and wondering how I'll make shit happen. I made shit happen. I managed to successfully create work for myself and along the way impress some awesome people who threw me an employment bone. So, no I'm not really all that unemployed anymore. I might be too employed. Not to jinx myself.

You're reading the blog of a working actor, acting coach, audition taper, agent helper, freelance casting assistant, registrar for an improv school and one of two Texas reps for the most highly respected casting website in the U.S.! It's nuts and I'm FREAKING lucky. I work my butt off and still manage to do most of it from home. How amazing is that?

It's been crazy and I'm only now just able to catch my breath for a moment (only because I felt compelled to write, not because I actually have the time. I'm making the time) and take it all in.

I got a chance to go to L.A. and train for my casting website contractor job over my birthday week. I really do love sunrises on the west coast. Makes it worth getting up early for the view and for the near empty beaches. I met some awesome people involved in the industry and got behind the scenes knowledge. I learned way more than I was expecting to. Priceless.

I'm using some of my more organizational talents to help maintain the day-to-day and session-to-session workings of a really great improv school I'm about to graduate from. Check me out in The Amazing Improvised Race at Salvage Vanguard Theater! To boot, I'll be in another play - my first Spanish language play - just before my improv graduation show. Literally. I have La Pastorela at 8 pm and then every Saturday that the play runs, I'll be rushing out to make the 10 pm opening of my improv show. It's exactly what I've wanted, to be busy with acting work. But I'll hardly get a break from performances before I begin rehearsals for my first children's theater play. And it's another Spanish-language role. Seriously, if you're a Latino actor and you don't speak Spanish, you're doing yourself a great disservice and seriously shutting doors for yourself. But hey, you'll get no complaints from me. I'm happy to take the work.

All this and that's still not including my weeklies at Fort Hood, which has been a tremendous experience. Being able to do what I love with some great actors, provide a much needed service to our soldiers, get paid and still be supported by my employers when I book other work is a dream. Just a dream.

I put my Fort Hood understudy to work (We have understudies! If only this were more common in local theater) last week when I booked a commercial job. That audition experience was definitely in a category all it's own.

I had been at home working up until 4:30 or so and then I decided it was a good time to shut down, get a work-out in and then get ready to hunker in for the night with some dinner and maybe a movie or whatever I had DVR'd. So, I worked out, got cleaned up, then went back into our office to get my phone. By this time it was a little after 6:30. Of course I would get phone calls and texts the minute I left my phone. I had a couple of texts from a casting assistant friend and voice mails from the casting director she works with, who's cast me the most this year and has also hired me out to assist.

The messages were literally "can you come by (right now) and audition for this project?" When I called back and explained that I was in my pajamas, he told me to get dressed and come by as soon as I could. They'd be there for awhile yet. I got ready in 30 minutes and was out the door. My husband had the biggest grin on his face as I walked out, saying, "I bet you book this one." I didn't even know what I was auditioning for. I called my agent and let her know what was going on.

I get to the casting office, sit down, get the script, which was one line is Spanish and then told to improv the rest in Spanish. So I did. One take, no redirection and the casting director says, "Great. You're on hold. We'll call your agent." I was told I would find out by 2 pm the next day whether I booked or not. I found out at 4:30 pm the next day. I was the only actor to book the same role in English and Spanish. I wish all my auditions turned out like this.

It was a great shoot. Short, sweet and I made the clients laugh. Their laughter actually messed up one of my takes - from the other room. I'm looking forward to seeing it when it airs.

It's nuts, but I'm enjoying the juggling. I just have to really focus and not let my usual distractions be my usual distractions. I also have to make time to film a Bigfoot movie I've been cast in. How I'll make it happen? Who knows. It just will.

An Open Love Letter to crews (backstage and behind-the-camera)

Thank you to all of you who work so hard to make sure my lighting is flattering, my hair doesn't frizz, my under-eye bags don't show, my mic works, I have all my props and I'm actually in the shot. Without you I'm a badly lit, frizzy-headed, tired-looking, unintelligible, empty-handed, invisible mess. You do your job with speed and discretion so I can do mine. You're great and thank you for you tireless running after me to make sure I don't look bad or look like an ass.

In return, I promise to remember your name (even though I'm horrible at this to begin with. It's a work in progress) and if I don't, I will keep trying until I do, but I promise to remember your face. I promise that if you offer to wash my wardrobe/costume, I WILL NOT throw in my used underwear, even if it's part of my wardrobe/costume. I should wash my own damn underwear. I promise to say please and thank you and never bark at you and if I do bark at you, it's nothing to do with you and I will be aware enough to apologize profusely ASAP. If we have a misunderstanding, I will work to make it better and not act like an asshole who can't accept personal responsibility for my actions. If you approach me with a concern that's really you being the bigger the person and an adult, I promise not respond with, “I don't know. You tell me.” Because obviously if you had the answer you wouldn't be asking me to begin with. And if I EVER give you this douche-bag answer, just reread this to me and I'll slap myself.

Mascots, the seventh circle of hell and flashing clients.

What does a girl do when she has a Friday free? Dress up as Tony the Tiger and hang out at a Wal-Mart with the Nesquick Bunny and the Bimbo Bear. Yes, I did it. I dressed as a mascot. For the grand opening of a Wal-Mart. Why, you ask? Why not? I didn't at that exact time, have anything else going on. And no, there was no fighting among the mascots. A) Everyone is a professional; and B) those costumes are H-O-T. I thought I was going to faint going into my first 20 minutes. Extra unnecessary movement is ill-advised and just plain crazy.

All you folks who work the theme parks in the middle of summer in costume, I salute you. And you scare me. It can be a little claustrophobic in there. Word of advice (to myself): cooling vest. Seriously. I was glad to do it, though. Seriously. Would I again? I don't know. Every decision as the situation arises. It's still a job and thankfully, I wasn't outside. Whew.

It's been a delightfully busy month and yes I count wearing a mascot costume in there. A commercial, mascot public appearance, a PSA and the doing good for the soldiers. I'd say all in all a pretty good month. Now if I can just keep that ball rolling.

I drove from sweaty mascot job to a callback (and booked it thankyouverymuch) where the client WANTED me present. That's a super cool feeling. It's definitely awesome to have a client specifically ask for me (insert ginormous, crap-eating grin here).

However, on the filming day, it only struck me about midway through that some folks might consider the position the cast and crew were in one of the seven circles of hell. Now, that is in no way to say that the day was anything but great. For real, again, I was overjoyed to be there and everyone was wonderful. But just imagine nine women in a baby shower setting laughing, cooing and saying the same lines over and over and over and over and over and over again for an entire work day. If there was anyone in the crew who just wanted to stab themselves in the ears, I wouldn't have blamed them, but they never let on if the impulse was there.

It wasn't really until the last hour that I started to feel loopy. I flubbed my lines in English and Spanish – totally forgetting the word “air filter”. Even after almost 8 hours of saying “air filter.” I thought I was going to cry because at that stage, EVERYONE wants to wrap up and every flub is more time hearing “ahahahahhahahhahahahhaha ooooooooooooohhhhh” from 8-9 women at a time. Imagine that as your eternal damnation. Ahahhahhahhahhahahhahha. And I would do it again. In a heart beat.

I got to work with some lovely ladies and the comeraderie was awesome. We were in it together. Every laugh, every repeated phrase, every fanning of sweaty parts. Which leads me back to my loopiness that resulted in my slight wardrobe malfunction.

Of course I would do this when the camera is pointed at me, not when it was over my shoulder or off to one of the sides, no, when it was DIRECTLY IN FRONT of me. Pointing in my direction. The AC was off and for those who aren't in film, ACs make a lot of noise that boom mics pick up, so film sets generally have no running AC while filming with sound is being done. I was wearing a skirt (you see where this is going don't you) and in absent-minded gesture, I quickly flapped my skirt up from my lap to fan my legs. Just once. I can still feign being a lady. Dammit.

A few moments later a voice pops in my ear and I hear, “Everyone, all the clients, in the other room saw your panties on the monitor when you flipped your skirt up.” And time stood still ... for. just. one. mortifying. moment ... I stopped breathing ... I felt my eyes turn to saucers ... my heart fell into my stomach ... and my stomach fell into my feet. I wanted to scream, then cry, then run away. Then I thought, “oh well. Can't take it back. And it's panties. Everyone has seen panties. And it's not like I flashed my whole undercarriage. My knees were still together – I think. Oh boy, I hope. Ugh. Stomach in feet again.

However, I know it was not recorded. Small favors, right? Whew.

Hey, they called me back to audition for their next PSA the following week. :-)

Prick teases, self-parking SUVs and saving lives.

I'm kinda down today. Less so than yesterday, but down nonetheless. I had one of those weeks where I've driven up to Dallas twice for an audition and a callback in the span of 3 days. Read: 12-14 hours total travel time with gas at more than $4/gallon. Then, I get the call that it's down to me and one person for the role and the client wants to make sure I'm available (and I am) and then …. they go with the other choice. :-( Seriously. It's like getting ready for a date only to have him call 5 minutes before he's supposed to pick me up only to cancel. All dressed up with nowhere to go. I believe the guys' version of that is called a prick tease.

That pretty much culminates how much the month has ebbed and flowed.

I started with a great high this month booking a commercial for a major auto company. The client was a dream. The folks on set were so incredibly, fantastically supportive and made no efforts to hide the love. I felt like I could do no wrong. It must be what a superhero feels like, or a parent after the kid has learned to use the potty. It really gave me the confidence to play and take a few risks with my choices. The freedom to add my own touch and be me. I got to parallel park an SUV that parallel parks itself. It was BANANAS. All I had to do was change gears and use the brake. My glee in the spot is only part acting. It should air in Texas on or just after Memorial Day.

The performances at Fort Hood are going really well, mostly. It still feels as if the team hasn't quite gelled enough yet and those after-lunch shows aren't up to par yet. The pressure is definitely high and it's tough to enjoy the successes when every detail is scrutinized. Lives are quite literally on the line. I'm finding difficulty relaxing into it, which may make me make things worse for myself. I'm trying to remember to breathe, focus, and that the soldiers are watching, listening, and in some cases, really paying attention because we're hitting home for them.

An Army major spoke before two of our performances this past week. He talked about his teenage son and how because of the performance he saw, he was able to recognize warning signs. After a heated confrontation between the two that very night over chores, the major and his wife decided to get their son help. It wasn't a moment too soon. The boy admitted to being depressed and suicidal for a long time. Years. So much so as to have come up with two separate ways to end his life. Because of the performance that the major saw, he got his son help. The major said if it hadn't been for the performance, his son might not be around today.

So, I'll take the pressure and do more than I think I can. I hope. I just have the constant worry I'll be canned after the 3 month contract period. That would really devastate me. Really. My nerves are a little shot from the high highs and the low lows. Is this what it feels like to be a drug addict?

Insanity (of the productive variety)

I think the karma is turning around for the better. I don't know that we're going to be OK, but it certainly feels like we're are. Big changes have happened. The major stress in our lives is gone. The future is very uncertain and still shaky, but I have high hopes.

The show I'm in is physically demanding, and I've almost fallen out of tree, but it's getting great response and people seem to be enjoying it! Yay!

I now also count myself as one of a few steadily working actors around here. I booked a dream job. A long-term gig performing live for soldiers on suicide awareness and prevention. It's an amazing opportunity to use acting as a tool to make a positive impact on a segment of our society that so badly needs support. It pays, there are understudies and it's a community service. I'm humbled and in awe to be a part of this production. I'm also in a stunning company of actors whose work I admire, but never had the opportunity to work with before. I'm giddy and flattered to be among them. It feels incredible to be a part of something that makes me want to bring my A+ game.

I can't believe my good fortune after all the uncertainty of the past few months.
The Actors' Fair was a great success for our fledgling taping business. We had a lot of folks come by and take our business cards as well as a couple of head shot photographers and a local acting coach who said they would definitely send referrals our way. OK, Louisiana, get ready to see our work! I feel blessed. Really, really blessed.