My botched audition with Marc Webb

Because I flippantly mentioned that I botched an audition with this director in a previous post and it would probably raise a question or two, here goes:

I had an audition for the pilot episode of the canceled-after-two-episodes-and-we-didn't-even-get-to-see-Andie-MacDowell show "Lone Star." It died an unceremonious death as many of the shows around here have this year (bye, CHASE. It was fun.). Anyyyyywaaaaaay, my audition was at 8:30 a.m. in Dallas, which is 3 hours away in good traffic. However, I had committed to teaching a free class the evening before.

Here's where I made the mistake: I ASKED PERMISSION to forgo the class, so that I could drive to Dallas with plenty of time to rest before my audition. I was denied and guilted into keeping the commitment. I blame my Catholic upbringing and sense of commitment (dammit) for being so gullible. So, I stayed for the duration of the class, left at 10 p.m., drove to Plano to stay with a friend, was in bed by 2 a.m., woke up at 6 a.m. to make my 8:30 a.m. audition time. Do we see any problems yet?

In addition to being absolutely useless on less than 7 hours of sleep, I had previously decided that I wanted a bit more background on the role I was reading for. I can feel you cringing now. Yes, I am, too. All I wanted to know was a) How is this person related to the leads? Family or friend? b) What is her role in helping tell their story? Not unreasonable. But, my sleep-deprived brain and sense of brevity came up with this gem: "What is her hierarchy in the show?" To which the casting director quickly piped up, "Oh there's going to be a spin off. It's going to be called name-of-role-I-read-for."

It was a quick save on her part, sort of, but it took me a delayed second to understand what my mouth had just vomited. They thought I was asking about the size of the role. Oh, freaking horrors of audition horrors. If there had ever been a time that I wanted the earth to open and swallow me up, this was it. Simultaneously, I could hear a voice inside my head scream, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! OH! MY! GOOOOOOODDD! GET! OUT! GETOUT! GETOUT! GETOUT!!"

I could have tried to save myself, back track and explain, but really, I probably would have made it worse. I'm good that way. I've mentioned before about my uncanny ability to sabotage myself, no? Well, I'm excellent at shooting my own foot. Moving on.....

So, after this introductory disaster, I auditioned and felt good about it leaving the room, but well what did that matter if the only impression I left them with was that I'm a freaking diva and possibly mentally unstable? Oh, for 3 more hours of sleep!

I alerted my agent immediately about my faux pas and she did what she could to smooth things over, but well, he'd already dismissed me by then. However, after all that, the character was completely cut from the script and Mr. Webb dropped the show to follow a little project called "The Amazing Spider-Man" or something to that effect.

Small consolation after this mess is that I did get to chat with the casting director during a workshop and she mentioned in retelling this cautionary tale that I was the best read. D'oh! Right in the heart! By the way, in case you're slow and don't know what the cautions are: get sleep, only ask questions pertaining to the scene(s) you have in hand. Oh, and don't ask permission. It's better to apologize for doing something than to be denied before trying.