Thank you to all of you who work so hard to make sure my lighting is flattering, my hair doesn't frizz, my under-eye bags don't show, my mic works, I have all my props and I'm actually in the shot. Without you I'm a badly lit, frizzy-headed, tired-looking, unintelligible, empty-handed, invisible mess. You do your job with speed and discretion so I can do mine. You're great and thank you for you tireless running after me to make sure I don't look bad or look like an ass.
In return, I promise to remember your name (even though I'm horrible at this to begin with. It's a work in progress) and if I don't, I will keep trying until I do, but I promise to remember your face. I promise that if you offer to wash my wardrobe/costume, I WILL NOT throw in my used underwear, even if it's part of my wardrobe/costume. I should wash my own damn underwear. I promise to say please and thank you and never bark at you and if I do bark at you, it's nothing to do with you and I will be aware enough to apologize profusely ASAP. If we have a misunderstanding, I will work to make it better and not act like an asshole who can't accept personal responsibility for my actions. If you approach me with a concern that's really you being the bigger the person and an adult, I promise not respond with, “I don't know. You tell me.” Because obviously if you had the answer you wouldn't be asking me to begin with. And if I EVER give you this douche-bag answer, just reread this to me and I'll slap myself.